When I was one person on the inside and another person on the outside, I had to wear masks and be phony. I had to put on a facade and play games. I wish that I could stand before God and my family and everyone else and be at peace with myself and with others.
I live in fear of what anyone thinks of me because I have opened my heart to things that have hurt me and alot of times it just goes on and on and no one knows about it … They act like I am to walk this world as if I am on cloud nine … I have begun to shut everyone out in my life and I have thought that it would go away only I have found that it has just made me more lonely… I hear this all the time if you just open your heart to God’s Holy Spirit, and he will light up the dark places within me so you can feel free…. but I don’t so I have to question why because God is there I can feel him ,,, He knows my every need and cares when I am lonely .. how do I break this a be set free…. everyone says it is easy … I pray that it is … All I have prayed for are still prays when do you break free of the bondage and does any one really care … This is the feelings that I was fighting with everyday … and at times still do ..
If you are Reading this you may have the same questions , some of the scriptures that really got me through this and the days that I feel so empty inside are as follow .. Be well balanced (temperate, sober of mind), be vigilant and cautious at all times; for the enemy of yours , the devil, roams around like a lion roaring (in fierce hunger), seeking someone to seize upon and devour .Withstand him; be firm in faith (against his onset-rooted, established, strong , immovable, and determined), knowing that the same ( identical) sufferings are appointed to your brotherhood( the whole body of Christians) throughout the world. ! Peter 5:8,9
If you want to receive emotional healing and go forward with your life, you must lay down self-pity. I am so convinced of that truth that I will go so far as to ask you the same question that God asked me several months ago; Do you want to be pitiful or powerful?I will also pose some other questions for you that I asked myself on the same subject. Do you feel sorry for yourself? Be honest in your response. Don’t do as I used to do and answer Yes But… God has shown me that self -pity s like a wall that keeps me from going forward in life. In my own life, I had to learn that everyone has problems just because I was abused by my really parents and abandoned and abused by my ex husband I am not a special case. Like everyone else, I have to take responsibility for my own healing and restoration and so do you.. We must cooperate with the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives. Don’ t walk around with a chip on your shoulder like I did .The Bible tells us that those who wallow in self -pity make themselves vulnerable to the devil, who is seeking someone to devour .
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ , The Father of sympathy(pity and mercy) and the God ( who is the source ) of every comfort , consolation and encouragement, Who comforts(consoles and encourages) us in every trouble ( calamity and affliction), so that we may also be able to comfort ( console and encourage) those who are in any kind of trouble or distress, with comfort with which we ourselves are comforted. @ Corinthians 1:.3,4.
The best healer is often the wounded healer, because he know what he is dealing with since he has suffered it himself That’s what Paul was saying in this passage from his letter to the church. in Corinth. If you have suffered through some hard times in your life you are going to be even more successful in ministering to those who are going through the same kind of suffering in their lives. Than doesn’t mean that you will ever suffer again just mean you will be more ready to fight back and have the tools to do so..
I pray that this helps someone who is reading this and saying that is me .. God love you and cares in everything you go through take sometime alone and remember and meditate on these scriptures…. Amen…